I was in a dilemma for the past few days making a major decision.
After months of staying at home without much contact (except MSN-ing & occasional lunches with ex-colleagues & friends) has made me desperate to look for work & because of that, I ended up confused & lost.
I'm glad that my hubby has been supportive enough during this period to try to assure this confused, unsure yet ‘just-want-to-do-something’ wife. And I'm blessed to have supportive & encouraging friends, colleagues & mentors who were there to offer me advices & info.
Sometimes we lose sight of certain things that are important to us. Our goals, our priorities, our dreams, our needs etc. And some of us have to travel a long way or even a full circle before we know exactly what we want. I believe there are others like me, who may not know exactly what we want. Does knowing what we want then make us better decision makers?
Well, I'm a bad decision-maker especially in making tough decisions. When presented with options, I see all, if not most, of them viable. To me, there're no good or bad decisions. They all lead to different paths with different results. So I always could not proceed beyond the stage of listing the pros & cons.
I believe that things (be it good or bad) happen for a reason. Like what my ex-boss has told me it could well be some form of Divine intervention that someone up there has in store for you. So maybe what I'm going through is part of a learning process created by the One up there, albeit a not so smooth one but neither is it a bumpy ride.
This isn’t my first time making tough decisions. There one that I remember vividly was making a choice between going to a JC and going to a Poly. I wanted to go into Film & Sound Production in Ngee Ann but my aunt persuaded me to go JC instead. I had no one to ask for advice as I was the eldest grandchild & noone was in a similar situation before. I remembered sitting down on the chair in the living room in the middle of the night, still deciding what to fill in the application form.
The other was whether to stay on with NIE or to leave. There was a big relieve when my mum supported my decision to leave. Fortunately I was only 3 days into the course. I was just not comfortable to stay on but didn’t have the courage to make the final decision.
This reminds me of the scenario of a wife asking the husband to choose between the black and the white dress for her to wear. Whichever the hubby chose wasn’t important, cos subconsciously, the wife had already made the choice. She just needed some form of assurance.
I appreciate this opportunity to remind myself to appreciate the people who have helped & made a difference in my life in one way or another. Hmm...I must have done something good in my previous life to have known them in this life :) Actually it's good to have senior friends who have a wealth of experience. They are very precious friends to have as they offer sound advices, wise comments & are good role models & mentors. I have benefitted a lot from them & am very grateful for their guidance. I hope in turn I could be like them & make a little different in other people's lives in little ways :)
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