Unforgetable 2009

Eve of New Year's eve -- I was waiting at the A&E at TTSH. Waiting for my turn to be examined by the doctor to confirm if I had contracted TB.

I caught a flu about 3 weeks ago, followed a cough. It didn't occur to me that I had been coughing for quite some time as it did not disturb my sleep. The only inconvenience was the inability to converse without being punctuated by the intermittent coughs.

My colleagues and boss suggested I should go for an x-ray just to elimate the possibility of other diseases. The x-ray showed some unknown patchy stuff, indicating "suspected pulmonary tubercolosis" on the report and advised further clinical assessment and followup. I wasn't that anxious yet as previously my mum also experienced similar case but was cleared when a 2nd x-ray was done. All was calm until when I see my GP.

"I think this can be quite serious." How would he know when he only listened to my description and hadn't even looked at my x-ray ? "I don't think we can handle this....I think you should go to TTSH now for a thorough check...I'll write a referral letter and you can go to the A&E at TTSH and they will refer you to the TB dept".

Now I partly understand why A&E is such a busy dept. And I also feel strongly that doctors should also be trained in having EQ or to be specific, "The Art of Communicating With Your Patients".

Doctors' words can really freak you out and scare the hell out of you.

At this moment, you'll realise suddenly that the support from your family, your friends & even colleagues make a difference. I can now imagine the fear and anxiety faced by people who have been told they had contracted an incurable disease. the fear I felt was probably 1/100 of their fear.

I was texting my thoughts and feelings into my mobile phone - to distract myself and to remind myself of the fear and the importance of health. My heart was probably beating fast as I was texting. What if I really were to contract the disease? Though curable, the thought of the long treatment and even the thought of the diagnostic tests I may have to go through already worries me. Gosh and those people who have been in contact with me...

A song in Alice In Wonderland that goes like this:

"I give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it. That explains, the trouble that I'm always in..."

Indeed. I should have listened to my own advice and sleep early. I should have exercised more, avoid last minute shopping at crowded places. I should have stuck to one trusted doctor instead of conveniently going to whichever doctor that was near and still opened. I should have looked after myself better......

"Will I ever learn to do the things I should?"

One hour had passed...the wait was killing me. I didn't want to be admitted. Better still, I hope it was a false alarm and that my GP was just overly anxious and wanted to play it safe.

Finally my name was called. I was examined by a nurse. Afterwhich I was told to sit and wait for the doctor.

Security was quite strict. Only one person was allowed to accompany the patient. The rest of the family had to wait outside the tentage. And only the patient is allowed into the waiting zone. I thought that was a good way to prevent the spread of diseases. Unfortunately, there were some who keep testing the boundary, not wearing the mask they were given and tried to enter the area whilst the security was not around. I was also wondering how a sexily-dressed lady who could still take cold drinks be one of the patients waiting at the A&E.

When I finally saw the doctor, she was busy typing whatever I was describing to her into her pc as she asked the questions. She examined my throat, x-ray and somehow gave me the feeling that it wasn't as bad as it seems. She told me to wait at the waiting zone whilst she sought clearance from her boss. This should sound familiar to those in the civil service.

I signalled to my family that I had to wait and told my poor brother who hasn't had his dinner to go and look for food as it'd be a long wait. Indeed, it took about 3 hours - from about 8.30pm to 11.30pm for the whole process which includes medicine collection, to end.

The doctor said they did not think that it is TB but suggested me to visit the TB dept just to make sure as the doctors there are more specialised in that field. So I was given a week's MC, and strangely, they called me later to fix the appointment date on 7 Jan.

So from now to 7 Jan, I'm home, trying to take whatever stuff to strenghten my lungs and TRY to stick to a healthier routine. Am trying to get to bed by 10.30pm which is pretty tough...

Humans...the moment they know they are not in that critical moment, they somehow will lax into the unhealthy habits again......

To my family and friends, which also includes my colleagues whom I already consider them as friends, thank you for your concern, your assurance and your encouragement. Ah Kin is really grateful and will try to look after myself better =)