Moral courage

I was travelling in the subway, when I heard someone spit. He was seated at the back of the train and when I turned around, he did that again and on the seat this time. I commented loudly on his incivility.

The other commuters were equally irritated by his behaviour but none went up to tell him off. I was tempted to head to the front and tell the driver, but hubby gave me a nudge and advised against blowing the matter up. "You'll never know what he'll do to you." This comment his resonates, even in my dreams,

Out of my dreamland, would I have the moral courage to tell him off? Would I, like the other commuters, merely grumble under my breath? Or would I simply put up with the behaviour and not do anything to avoid trouble?

I had my fair share of “reminding” people against spitting on floors, smoking in lifts, littering, forcing their way into trains before commuters alight etc. Some of them pretended not to hear it, some simply ignored and fortunately, some felt ashamed of their ungracious acts.

Today, I managed to make a litterbug picked up his own litter via my “2-sec icy stare”. He thought no one noticed him “naturally dropping” a crushed Old Chang Kee paper bag and tissue while standing. I was just walking past and caught the act. I stared at him. He saw me, 2 seconds…and he bent down to pick them up.

I hope he did that because he knew it wasn’t right to litter or he realised that the litter had actually slipped his hands…and not because he was worried I could be one of those undercover NEA officer who catches litterbugs and send them for CWO (Corrective Work Order). But I’m glad the litter was no longer a litter.

I don’t have to wait for “the relevant authorities” to empower me to correct such acts. We can, in our own little ways, make things better. It’s not that difficult but it takes courage and…practice? I used to be the one type who would rather keep quiet and tolerate such behaviours. I used to be hesitant in offering my seat to those who need, not because I’m contemplating whether this person needs the seat or I’m not willing to give up my seat, but because I’m shy to do so and what happens if the person rejects my offer?

Perhaps I’ve passed the stage of being overly bothered by what others think of me (thou I still fall into that trap occasionally), or maybe my skin has thickened with age, I’m more willing to voice out and now, I’m more ready to offer seats without taking a long time to decide and feeling too embarrassed. Hopefully, I can be a good example to others and influence them to join me. It was heartening to see some of the responses. Some offered to help me carry my stuff while they took the seats offered, while some even kept a lookout for an empty seat for me during the journey. Well, even if they don’t do all these, a simple appreciative smile is enough for me.

So uncles and aunties, we know that there will be those who just won’t offer their seats to you, but if you behave in a kisasu manner, people would be put off and honestly, I don’t think I would offer my seat to you too. Sometimes standing for a few stops won’t tire you that much and might do some good for your leg muscles.

As for the working execs, I know you have a hard day at work. Well who doesn’t? But seriously, I don’t think you would be that lucky to meet an elderly or a pregnant lady every time you commute. Don't forget you too, will grow old one day.

To my morally courageous comrades, my advice is to depend on your judgement on the appropriateness of the time, place and type of audience before you "do your thing". I wouldn’t recommend doing that to a group of tattooed fellas at a void deck when you're alone. That’s as good as inviting trouble.

A drop hollows out a stone. Albeit these are very little gestures, they make a difference.

Friends from Zurich

Uncle Tan's colleague, Harry and his wife, Bridget, came to Singapore for a short stay a couples of weeks back. It was an "on-route" stay as they went to Australia to visit their daughter who's studying there.

Kinda excited at their arrival for we were keen to play host to them who had never been to Singapore. And also because we miss the Swiss people :)

However it was a mere 2-day stay so we couldn't bring them around much. Generally, the Swiss are very good at exploring around. Within a day, they had been to Little India and Chinatown on their own and from the conversations with them, our local taxi drivers have been very good ambassadors introducing them places of interests as well as providing some interesting "insights" of Singapore :) Our cabbies have indeed an important role to play to foreign friends.

Together with Uncle Tan's colleagues, we took them for dinner at the rotating restaurant Prima Tower for dinner. They were fascinated with the 360 degrees view and so were we, except that I was a little worried if I'd get motion sickness since I'm quite sensitive to even little movements.

It's a chinese restaurant and the food was good. A pity that I had to control the amount I take just in case :p The dishes were light yet yummy and not to mention, healthy too. Of course, it also comes with an exquisite price :> If the restaurant stop rotating one day, I wouldn't mind going again.

They enjoyed the dinner although it must have been an eye-opening experience for them to see how much we eat for dinner since the Swiss usually eat simple meals. They were pretty full by the 5th dish.

As Bridget doesn't take meat items, we ordered one extra veg meal for her in addition to the set dinner. Harry shared with us that his wife adopted a vegetarian when she saw them being cramped up in cranes whilst they were being transported on a truck. I remember seeing a picture of that in the papers recently and I felt bad for the poor chickens. They really have no life as they are bred to be fed...to humans. I bet they must have envied their ancestors, the kampong chickens, who had the freedom to run around before they ended up on the dinner table. At least they had lived a life.

I would like to be a vegetarian too...if not for my weak constitution. Er...maybe not totally abstained from some seafood thou I can make do without shark's fins. I just hope we can be as humane as we can, and perhaps, be appreciative of the food we eat since so many lives have been sacrificed...to satisfy our cravings..yeah, am not even talking about meeting our basic needs.

It was an enjoyable dinner (minus the rotating thingy) and the company was great.

Taking a group photo at the end of the dinner.

We didn't join them at Jewel Box as I had a roadshow the following day to attend. But before they flew back to Zurich, we got them the packaged durian cake from Bee Chin Hiang since they looked keen when we mentioned the pungent fruit to them. Thou we know we won't do any justice to the King of fruits by getting those processed ones but we wouldn't want them to get detained at the airport either :p

They like our Mr Bean biscuits thou and found them similar to their Christmas cookies. Aww...if only we were there to taste it :)

A few days later, they emailed to agree that the durian thingy indeed requires an acquired taste. They tried eating that by spreading them (like jam) on their bread ;p

Learn learn learn

I appreciate my friends and colleagues’ concern when they read my last entry and I thought perhaps the entry may have sounded too emo. Actually it was just a grouse but after hearing comments from some my colleagues and re-reading the entry, I decided to remove the entry to prevent any damage. Definitely it wasn’t meant to be a gossip or a blaming entry.

Seriously, I thought it might turn out to be a positive thing since this might spur me to move out of my comfort zone. I've colleagues coming to me and advise me against making impulsive decision simply because of a funny character. I really appreciate that. Well that person might be part of the reason, but definitely not the entire reason.

I’m feeling much better now really and thanks for all your concern :) I guess learning how to manage and work with someone needs time and adjustments. I should get rid of my personal baggage and biasness and try to see more of the person's positive traits rather than be influenced by previous incidences. It’s not easy after having heard so much thou ;p but if I don’t learn, I may feel even more miserable.

Hmm…I think for future entries that are meant to ventilate, I should save it as draft and read it a few days later to make sure that it is as objective as possible before hitting the "Publish" button. The purpose of my blog is to share my personal thoughts and feelings and not meant to hurt anyone. Even my biasness towards Ah Tiongs has reduced ok!

So pls don’t guess who I’m talking about as it’s a summary of the not-so-nice people I’ve met over the years. I’m sure most companies have these funny characters as well right? I can imagine seeing a smile on the faces of my ex ex ex colleagues :)

In any case, for those who don't know what's going on, it's ok. It's over and let's move on :)